Don’t Wound Each Other

Be sure to check out previous posts in this discussion here and here.

One of the biggest headaches that I have experienced in ministry are the overall attitudes that can be held, and argued ad nauseum, between Modern and Post-modern concerning matters of opinion, not scriptural fact. Most notable among some of these issues are appropriate “level” of dress for Sunday services, consumption of alcohol, and tattoos. There are other issues that can also fall underneath the matters of opinion category.

If the “Worship Wars” of the past few decades are now mostly over, and if we learned anything as a Church, it’s that no one emerged “victorious.” Sure, we are singing newer songs of worship with ambient guitars and driving beats. And we’re probably still voicing the lyrics of some long-held hymns with updated music behind it, a face-lift if you will. But, in the end, we have seen that neither “side” of the debate left the war unscathed. Therein lies the problem with war; it’s hard to do without walking away wounded. Which brings us to the tension between Modern and Post-modern for this post. How does Post-modern, who most likely has a more “loose” approach to the issues listed above, develop a conversation with Modern about where the Church must inevitably go without starting the new war?

1. Make it a conversation. Now this point may seem elementary on the surface, let me stress how important it is for this to be a conversation. A conversation is, by nature, a two-way enterprise. Both sides have to be willing to listen as much, or more, as they speak. (Which is crazy Biblical by the way, we’ll talk more on this later). Staying chill is a major key for these conversations. There can easily be a tendency to jump into this conversation guns a blazing. All viewpoints within these topics tend to have strong opinions. As a great man of God, an elder at my current church, has recently said, “If there aren’t any bullets flying, why do you want to be the one to fire the first shot?” (Again, a great Biblical truth for later).

2. Understand what drives Modern’s viewpoint on this. Modern may never be able to articulate why he believes what he does. The stances taken towards tattoos, Sunday dress and alcohol consumption have a great deal to do with upbringing. The “where” and the “when” matter here. Growing up in 1973 Southern California versus 1973 Tennessee matters. Here’s what I mean. In the first post we talked about where Modern starts his approach towards worship music. He comes at these songs from the life experiences attached to them. In most cases, his approach will be the same here. It was probably considered reprehensible for anyone, let alone a man of God, to imbibe alcohol while Modern was in his formative years. (Watch the movies “Hoosiers,” see the assistant coach Gene Hackman’s character has to “help.”) From my experience, Modern will approach this from an “in, but not of the world” mindset. The message of the Church does not change, the doctrine of the Church does not change, but the methods the Church uses to teach and show the Grace, Mercy and Love of Jesus must be modified in this brave new world we find ourselves a part of. Just know that Modern will see a change in approach as a “sell-out” move, a degradation of the Gospel of Jesus. The tension in the talk is mostly about “how far is too far?”

3. Play the Self-less move, not the selfish one. Here we must go to 1 Corinthians 8. Look it up right now. Then come back. We have to make the move of selflessness here. In our churches, there are those whose worship is significantly affected when we wear a hat in the building. (It sounds dumb to some, but we have a responsibility to care for our brothers and sisters in Christ) While there are some things worth “upsetting the Apple cart” over, what we can and can’t wear during a worship service should not be the issue that affects the fellowship of believers. If we know that wearing our favorite skinny jeans will lead to strife, our move should be to not wear them. Post-modern tends to speak in a manner that can seem selfish. Glenn Packiam does a great job unpacking this in his recent book, The Mystery of Faith. The “Jesus Movement” brought us great new way of worshipping through song, but it also carried an unintended consequence, allowing us to speak selfishly in worship. I’d encourage you to read it.

We must act in a selfless manner in our churches. Jesus didn’t mince words towards this in Luke 9. Take up your cross daily. Deny yourself. Be more concerned with unity in the body of Christ than being “right” on matters of opinion. Jesus himself said it, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” The message of Grace that Jesus brings is far too important for us to allow asinine matters to kill our ability to tell it.

4. Move now or move later… but move.  Sooner or later, the Church inevitably learns that we have to move with culture if we want to teach Jesus. I’m not talking about relaxing stances on clear biblical statements. We only have to look towards the Catholic Church and Vatican II. The Catholic Church fought for years about the language used in Mass. They were WAY behind in bringing the Mass to the common language. It hurt them. We have to be active in teaching that what we wear during worship should not be a matter of salvation. It should also not consume our energy as Christ’s church. We have to move. We need to move away from trying to teach who Christians “aren’t,” we need to teach who Christians “are.” Society, as a whole unit, does not necessarily agree with the Church on some issues now. The wrong play is to get pouty lipped and throw a fit in the corner.

It’s like driving down the highway and everyone else on the road wants to drive 70mph. In our car though, we have a strong conviction to hold fast to the letter of the law. So, we drive 55mph, a noticeable difference. In this scenario, have we done anything to those cars behind us but anger them? In no way does our driving significantly slower call those other drivers to join us. In fact, it may just make them want to speed off faster the moment they can get around us. It’s time for us to run with culture. We don’t have to adopt the behaviors that we see. Jesus didn’t show up to pull us out of where we are. He showed up so that we become a beacon of light in the darkness, we can’t accomplish that unless we go where it’s dark already.

5. “Are”… “Aren’t” What does that mean? Here’s what it means. For a long time, Modern has probably seen his faith through the lens of who he “isn’t.” Meaning, when growing up, the only people who were open with drinking were probably alcoholics and treated most people in their lives terribly, at least that is how he saw it. Tattoos were only worn by biker gangs; the ones who engaged in less-than-reputable activities. Wearing a shirt and tie, or least not having denim on, was seen as a sign of respect for the situation. This has led Modern to see himself as “not that person.” His Christianity is defined by “who he isn’t.” This has led the Church and Jesus to be seen as a list of “do’s and don’ts.” And it’s keeping us from being able to speak into culture outside of the Church.

We have to teach the Grace of Jesus Christ. We must show the Mercy that Jesus has offered to us. This is what it means to teach who we “are.” We are all sinners that God has shown favor to by sending His son Jesus to die a terrible, painful death… in our place, as our substitute. We have to teach that. We have to live that. We are loved by a Holy and Gracious God. The tension is in what defines our identity. Our identity is formed in and through Jesus, and that should be good enough. We don’t need to define it further by stipulating who we are not.

6. Submit to authority. I think our congregations need to move out of a Christianity that seems completely hell-bent on enforcing rules within the faith. But, I serve under senior leadership in my current ministry setting. And while I can humbly approach them considering this topic, I cannot force movement here. God is clear in scripture that we are to honor all authority above us as He himself placed it there. Regardless of our feelings about what we should be allowed to wear. Irrespective of our attitudes toward alcohol or tattoos, we must submit ourselves to the decisions and guidance of authority figures. Remember, we aren’t the only ones that God is speaking to, and He will never give His church divergent messages.