Ask the Worship Doctor // Reaching Across the Generational Divide

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Reaching Across the Generational Divide

As an older (47) worship leader with over 20 years of experience in church worship leadership, I am often asked by younger worship leaders about how to reach across the generational divides that every church experiences. This is a great question, but my guess is that the assumption of the generation’s being referred to is not nearly broad enough and therefore the question is smaller than it needs to be. I want to address some of the ways this reaching across a gap can be done and I will finish this with some specifics, but first, let’s work to expand our awareness of the issue.

Most people define this issue as older people versus younger people. Unfortunately, that is not nearly correct anymore. There have always been generational issues in the church. However, in the past this was generally “macro” generations with a generation consisting of a group of people born within 15-20 year periods. In the late 20^th century this contracted to 10-15 year periods. In most churches this has been defined and grouped into the following categories: Children’s ministries, Youth Ministries, Young Adult Ministries, Adult Ministries, and Senior Adult Ministries. However, today generational definitions have been expanded to include “micro” generations of 5 years or less. If we take this anthropological understanding into our congregations, how many “micro” generations do you have?

Why “micro” generations? Well, as one of the new commercial series on TV shows us, there are children between 10 and 12 years old who cannot believe that a new technology allows televisions and television programming to be viewed anywhere on a location by wireless connectivity so that their younger siblings benefit from this freedom. Our commercial partners are aware of this “micro” generation gap and are already exploiting it to sell products. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHQ6skWi1kw)

So, now you not only have your macro generations, you also have micro generations inside each of your macro groups. How critical is this understanding? Well let’s just take your Children’s ministry for instance. How critical in current communications is the smart phone? Essentially the first comprehensive smart phone, the iPhone, was released in June of 2007. Smart phones are now ubiquitous in modern society. In your Children’s ministry, every one basically 7 and under has never known a world without smart phones. Now spread this out to cell phones in general. Let’s just start with the launch of 3g technology. This happened in 2001. So, basically anyone 12 and under has never known a world where it seemed like everyone had a cell phone. That is a 5 year span of ages. Just this one aspect of cultural technology is significant in the differences between these two micro generations. I won’t even start with major movie franchises, Disney shows, music, etc.

My point? Trying to solve these communication issues specifically is futile. Every time you think you have one solved, you will have another, completely unique issue every time you turn around. No amount of programming efforts, varying communication styles, gimmicks, or yes, even technology, is going to be a cure all for your generational difficulties. As long as you have people in your congregation whose ages are larger than 5 years apart, you will have generational issues.

Yes it is true that the further apart they are the more difficult it can be. It is hard enough to get Boomers (1946-1964) whose identity lies in the culture of the late 60’s and 70’s to communicate with the previous generation whose identity lies in the 50’s and early 60’s and whose culture the Boomers worked very hard to reject when they were in their teens. Of course, Boomers don’t understand their own kids and certainly don’t understand their grandkids. And yet, all of these generations are probably in your church asking you to communicate the Gospel and God’s love to them.

So, what is a dedicated worship leader to do? Especially since most worship leaders are younger than their pastor’s? My guess is you have a generation gap among leaders that is almost as pronounced as the one in the congregation. Here is my concrete advice to overcoming these divides. Find the common denominators and lead through those. You may think that means you can never innovate. Not true at all. Leading from common ground does not have to be limiting. Here’s how:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

You may be saying, “That was the issues in the first place!!” Well, yes and no. You may be struggling to communicate “on the platform” during worship, but how hard are you working to communicate outside of the worship service. In Facebook terms, what is your relationship status with your congregation? Do they know you, or do they just get to see you up there trying to lead.

What I have found over the years is that what most people want is to know that they have been heard. They want to be confident that you as a leader understand their concerns, their values, their needs in worship and that you have those in mind when you plan worship for their participation. They may not agree with everything you do. They may not understand everything that happens in worship or agree with all of your choices. (BTW, this goes in all generational directions, oh I wish I had time for all of the examples of this that I have!) However, they will usually be more willing to try to engage with you if they “know” you in some meaningful way. Shake hands before church starts. Go to lunch after church with a church member. Meet someone for coffee sometime. I once went to some weird flea market with a church member just because I knew they were struggling to meet God in worship. We did not become life-long friends or anything. But we made a connection that helped their worship life.

People need to know that you are trying to understand them and their point of view. When that happens you will have their respect and they will try to follow your leadership because of that respect.

If you are going to try to communicate, then you better be ready for this. . .

Know what you do and why you do it at all times

If you are an innovator in worship striving to bring new and fresh ideas into the church, or if you are a “defender of the faith” working to preserve the historically deep traditions of church practice, you will need to manage conflicting opinions. I am constantly amazed at the number of my colleagues who think that “because I said so” is a valid defense of the things that they plan in worship. Equally inadequate are the phrases, “they are doing this at the successful church down the street,” “I read about this in a great magazine,” “that song is hot on all of the charts,” “we always sing this song,” and other generalizations like this. It does not mean that many of these cannot be part of the reason you do something. But there needs to be more.

 

When dealing with people of varying generations, one common denominator is knowledge. Having an understanding of what you are doing beyond the obvious and being able to communicate that understanding will not automatically win everyone over to your side. What it does do, however, is lend credibility to everything you do and builds trust that you are a person who is serious about your role as a leader in the church. If you can speak about, and discuss openly, your ideas on worship then those with a dissenting opinion may not agree with you, but they will often take you seriously. I have had many such discussions with those older and younger than me and while not all have ended in agreement, they usually produce a more open relationship that allows me to work toward a stronger role as their worship leader.

Do not try to “target” program

Sure, you can design communication efforts in worship to be friendlier to one generation or another. However, if you are doing anything other than being true to the scriptures your efforts will quickly be perceived to be manipulative. Instead, try narrowing down to one concept and then presenting that concept in a variety of ways. Too often we focus on generational (age) issues, when in actuality the differences are communication issues. For example, we know that some people are visual while others hear through words and still others hear through music. Focus on these communication areas and be sure that your concept is broadly presented through these areas. Don’t worry so much what style a song is. Just be sure it clearly communicates the message; same for visuals and spoken word. Then, vary your presentations generationally over a period of weeks. Remember, kids know more about older people’s music than you may think (you would know that if you practice number one on this list) and older people are willing to listen to younger people’s music if it is presented by them. When it comes to video, try a variety of sources; sometimes movies, sometimes youtube, sometimes home-made, etc. Each of these will reach different generations differently, but all will communicate to visual learners.

The point is not to lose focus on the purpose of worship: providing everyone an opportunity to meet and work on their relationship with God.

And that brings us to the next item

People want to see themselves on the platform

Now this doesn’t mean themselves literally (although some really think they should be “up there”). What it does mean is that people want to see someone like them in leadership. If your platform or stage during worship only looks like one generation, or ethnicity, or gender, etc., then that is who people think worship is for. What are you communicating to older people if everyone on the platform is “young and hip?” What are you saying to younger people if there is no one without grey hair leading worship? You may have wonderful things happening in your church. Your worship may be true and God honoring. But if you want to communicate across generations, then someway, somehow, people need to see themselves in leadership. There may have been a time when this was not true, but not in this culture.

I will leave you with one more common denominator

Know their limitations

Not everyone in worship is there for the same reason. One mistake that I see all of the time, especially from younger, very enthusiastic worship leaders; you think that everyone is in worship for the same reason you are. I have news for you, they are not. If you practice number one on this list you will quickly find out that this is true. Once you begin to learn the infinite variety of reasons people come to church worship you will have a clearer understanding of why it can be difficult to communicate across generations. Older people may be there because of a legacy of church attendance. Yours may be the “trendy” church to attend and these people will be gone as soon as there is someplace newer and “better” than yours. Others may be there because you have a great preschool and they need to be members to get the best rate. The list goes on and on.

If you do not understand this, then once again you are seeking a solution to a problem you do not understand. This is why targeting a generation is not a good idea. Presenting the Gospel is a good idea. Doing so in a relationship with your congregation is a good idea. Being true to the message of God and making that message available in a variety of formats is a good idea. Trying to give people what they say they want, or assuming (or perhaps wishing) they were present for another purpose, or seeking to somehow reach them through gimmicks, or you fill in the blank, those are bad ideas.

What do I do? I stand on what I believe and have been taught is the purpose of worship. I engage people in conversation about worship whenever I can. I continually strive to learn more about worship and communication in worship. I listen to what people have to say, even when they are being hyper critical. Not because I intend to change reflexively, but because I know that I need to understand where they are and hopefully where they are coming from if I am to meet them where they are and lead them to where God wants them to be. I don’t run away from critical observation. I listen and learn.

The answer to this issue is more than even a book can handle. As I said above, I have so many examples of these truths in action. If you would like to contact me and discuss your particular situation or issue, or just hear more about these, then PLEASE GET IN TOUCH! My website is TheWorshipDoctor.com. I care about your ministry and I want to help wherever possible. Be on the lookout. I have more questions from The Church Collective to answer and they are coming up soon.

For now, the Doctor is Out.

Dr. Craig Gilbert is an accomplished worship leader and teacher with over 20 years of experience in worship leadership in several denominations and non-denominational settings. An active teacher, presenter and consultant around the country, Dr. Gilbert is still a weekly full time worship leader in his local congregation as well as leading other worship leader to design and implement worship at major events. Dr. Gilbert is available to speak at your church or event and is also available to local churches as a consultant and guest worship leader. His DVD teaching series, A Purposeful Heart for the Purpose of Worship will be released in early 2014. You can find more info and contact information at TheWorhsipDoctor.com.